Half Whale's Numbers Go Up
by EmptyTranscendant
Summary: SirTaters get sucked in a game and ends up in a slice of life shonen isekai hentai. (Used .flow as there's no NGU Idle category for games on fanfiction.)
1. Chapter 1

AN: I do not own NGU Idle. I do not own Chat Room #1. I do not own SirTaters. I do not own anything. I'm poor. :(  
************************  
Sir Taters was a completely normal English gentleman. Well, if one considered half whale hybrids that were somehow granted the knighting to Sir as completely normal English gentlemen. But well, it is England we're talking about, so that might not be entirely out of place.

As this chap was going through his completely normal day, he had no idea what kinds of machinations the Gods above (and even some of those below) had in mind for him. Ignorant as only a half whale can be, he stretched his arm to pet his kitty and started up his favourite game.

Suddenly he was in a completely different world. In the sewers of some God-forsaken place. He shakily rose to his feet. His eyes slowly got used to the darkness inside. From the corner of his right eye, he spied a rolling wall of text. What was going on here? Was he in a game? What RoB did he anger in his life to deserve to be put in a game, and a game as grindy as that? Life just wasn't fair!

Now he had the important thing to do! Try to remember what all that wall of text on his right was talking about being an optimal game. After all, he wanted to be out of here as soon as possible. As if on his thought, he saw someone in the chatroom screaming about three-minute rebirths. Wait! Rebirths? This game is going to suck. He was going to end up in this sewer like every time he rebirthed? Could he do some changes? Kill some boss that turned out evil later sooner? Not really, eh? He'd need to be super strong. And that started now.

What was the first boss again? There seemed to be nothing that one could fight here. Ah. There! It was a slight movement in the corner. Oh, it was just some fluff moved by the wind. Wait! Fluff? Time to fight!


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I do not own NGU Idle. I do not own Chat Room #1.  
This chapter had the honor of being written by Sir Taters himself! :D

After wiping off and pouring out the sludge that had accumulated in his newly-found suit of crappy armor, Sir Taters trudged off on a path that led into a forest that looked...pretty welcoming, actually. Critters scattered about at his presence, likely due to the smell wafting from his unorthodox outfit. Before he could get far, though, he heard a voice in the distance. "What was that?" he wondered, cupping his ear with on hand, trying to make it out... he could get a few words in... "...energy... ratio... thirty-seven point five..." and suddenly, it hit him. No, he didn't understand, you see—something had whacked him on the head.

The chap that had knocked him over had a comically large blade and a nametag above his head—"Silly"—quite an odd choice for a name, he thought—but after realizing he was, in fact, named after a potato, decided to push no further. After getting to his feet, the man immediately started shouting at him. "DO YOU KNOW WHAT KIND OF CRIME YOU ARE COMMITTING UPON THE WORLD OF NGU?" he yelled at Sir Taters. Wiping the spit that sprayed on his face, Sir Taters could only stammer out a "wh..." before being cut off again. "YOUR ENERGY IS NOT OPTIMAL! IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE AT A 1:37.5K:1 RATIO, DUMBASS! COME BACK TO ME AGAIN WHEN YOU'VE GOT YOUR SHIT IN ORDER!" He then stomped off angrily, as if he had held back on a grudge he had had on the poor, confused half-whale for his entire life.

Sir Taters had many questions, some of which related to the fellow's attitude and his strange flashy outfit, but most glaringly, his goofy-looking sword. It had that same ratio on it, "1:37.5K:1", written in permanent marker. "What was that all about?..." Sir Taters mumbled to himself, and then pressed on into the forest. He would soon find out that the forest held horrors much worse than the abominations he had faced in the Sewers.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I still own nothing. Apartments are also expensive.

As soon as our protagonist realized, by listening to the screams he heard from the wall of text to the right, that he really should've maxed the armor before moving to the forest, he realized, that he made not just one mistake, of keeping his energy ratio imbalanced, but also of not maxing his set before moving forward, he was struck by even more screams, from various members of the world he now lived in, that he should hard reset. Not only was Silly screaming that, so were Psyman2 and jedininjaz. And it seemed that for his silliness even magicman11806 muted him. He felt terrible for a second. Then against the consensus he didn't hard reset but rather moved to the zone before to complete his crappy set of armor.

Upon successful completion of that, a sense of increased energy flowed through him. Thus with much more enthusiasm, he proceeded to the forest once again, hoping to successfully avoid Silly and his 1:37.5k:1 sword.

Soon he found himself in a fantasy death world, where everything from goblins to zombies and even Gorgons and infamous R.O.U.S.' tried to kill him. Yet he persisted and fought mob after mob of angry monsters.

Eventually, he was quite happy to have managed to collect all the pieces of armor and got them all super strong. All but that useless piece of crap that was the forest pendant. Why these monsters dropped such a useless necklace was beyond him. Yet as he consulted the streaming wall of text, he found himself warned that he should totes max it. But that it also dropped lately. And of course that it was worth far more than it seemed. Yeah. Like he would believe that. It was a piece of crap. A message telling him that flashed through his mind every time he picked one up.

But okay, he would suffer through it and get it to level 100. After all, he would be accused of not playing optimally if he ever didn't complete a set. And he wanted to play optimally. What else could he do, if he ever wanted to be free from this nightmare? Oh the pain of rebirths, oh the pain of living in this world.

He had of course already started playing suboptimally, but he wasn't going to tell that to the world. They had no idea how painful rebirthing was. And for someone to do it every three minutes? They would have to be completely insane.

And with that thought he progressed further, finding himself in a scary-looking cave, that had a funky sign outside of it, saying "Cave of many things".

He sure hoped many of those many things were at least somewhat helpful.


End file.
